Toddler taming tips

Having a toddler can be a very challenging time for a parent as your child learns to speak and develop a will of their own it can be hard to keep control, try some or all of these tips to try to help

• redirection, often the best form of control is simply to give them something else to do. They usually love helping with household chores or baking and generally will readily go and play with another toy if you encourage it.


• say no calmly, it important that you say no in a controlled manner whilst facing your child, it is a good to explain your reasons but do not feel obligated to explain your rationale for the things that you ask of your child, every time that you ask something of them. Many parents fall into the trap of explaining the rationale behind all of their requests, usually because they want their child to feel respected. This is time consuming and can lead to arguments and a power struggle, at the end of the day you are the parent and what you say goes.


• show a united front, do not allow your child to play you off each other, children quickly learn who is a soft touch and use it to their advantage, it is important to make decisions about how you will discipline the child together and then stick to them.


• use positive praise, Always look for your child's good behaviour and praise it, if its all negative that is what they will settle for and you will have a little nightmare on your hands.


• turn a blind eye, to minor annoying behaviour and naughtiness they are on a learning curve and only discipline dangerous or annoying behaviour.


• don't expect good behaviour all the time, even the most angelic and placid children have to learn. It's normal for toddlers to test your reactions and patience by doing things over and over, even after you've told them not to. This is how they learn what is acceptable and where the limits are.


• look at it from their point of view, its good to try and remind yourself of how it was to be a child and how unfair the adult world often seemed.


• make a routine and try to stick to it, if you change it and you inevitably will tell your child in advance and explain why. This helps your child feel secure and there will be less need for conflict if your child expects things to happen in a certain way or at a particular time.


• set simple boundaries and enforce them together. Children rarely feel secure if they're allowed to do exactly what they want and in many cases they will behave worse to discover what the boundaries are.


• create family rules, keep them simple and to a minimum. Explain the rule and the consequences of not sticking to them. Remember young children can't possibly remember too many rules, never mind stick to them.


• be realistic, most behaviour parents call naughty or disobedient is just a normal part of development. Younger toddlers want to touch everything to find out how it works, when they can't it looses their interest so they drop it. Older toddlers are trying to assert their independence. All of this is normal and to minimise damage you need to think ahead try not to put your child in situations they can't handle and try remove temptation before it is zeroed in on by your toddler. This is especially important in other peoples homes nobody will mind if you say can i just move this i would hate it to get damaged, but you can be sure they will mind if your toddlers takes a fancy to a nice little antique ornament and then smashes it when they see something more exciting.

Help, my toddlers out of control

There isn't just one right way to get children to behave themselves. There is no magic wand that can be waved and out pops the perfect child, how you disipline your child will depend on your child's temperament, you and your partners parenting style and the situation you find yourselves in will all influence the methods you use, eg a very quiet, timid child may need only gentle guidance where as a more defiant, stubborn child who hates being controlled will probably be more of a challenge, and if you have a similar nature it could be a recipe for fire works.
Avoid yelling, hitting or getting too worked up during episodes when your child misbehaves. This just increases the negative attention that your child receives and reinforces that it is alright to get out of control and be aggressive. Try to remain calm while administering punishment. You should walk away if you feel that you may loose you temper or physically hurt your child. It is very important to use positive dicipline and encourage good behavouir through praise, it helps to teach by example. Children learn a lot about how to behave and cope with situations by copying adults, and that usually means you and your partner. It is better to child-proof your home, put valuable, breakable and dangerous objects out of your child's reach this helps to avoid arguments when accedints happen. Where you can and where it is not sending out the wrong messages try to see the funny side of your child's behaviour, a sense of humour is essential when dealing with the challenges of parenting. When you or your partner feel under pressure or there are a lot of other stresses in your life, it can seem harder to cope with a demanding child. It is important to take sometime for yourself and work at ways of keeping stress to a minimum, keep reminding yourself that your child is learning your behavouir and will pick up very quickly that there is a problem so try to keep adult stresses and worrys out of their lives as much as you can, not always easy but defenatly worth trying.

10 ways to help your child prepare for nusery or pre-chool

The simple fact is that if the you are taking your baby to nursery and they are very young there is little you can do to make going to nursery easier other than go there a few times with your child so there are aware of the surrounding and get used to the noise and seeing different faces.

If the child is older there are lots of ways in which you can prepare them for the world of nursery and or preschool.

• Visit the nursery or school with your child to give them an opportunity to see a class at work.
• Try to be positive and excited about it, make it an adventure even if you are dreading them going.
• Walk past at break-time to show children playing happily.
• Explain exactly what will happen during the day.
• Try to read books together about children starting school or nursery.
• Point out any friends or cousins who've recently started school or nursery and talk about the fun they're having.
• Talk about your child's interests and the things he'll enjoy there.
• Talk about the enjoyable activities they will be doing that build on things they already does at home - painting, drawing, cutting and pasting and listening to stories, for example.
  point out the structure and routines in a day at home: "Now it's our lunchtime and at school you'd be eating your lunch now."
• Practise doing up buttons and fastening his shoes, but don't worry or pressure them if this proves too difficult. Nursery and reception class teachers are used to helping children in the early days.
• Practise social skills, such as taking turns, following directions and making choices. Visit friends with children or invite other children to play.
• Teach simple chores that may be useful at nursery, such as packing away toys.
  Help your child to recognise their name. Most children can't read or write yet, but they maybe able to recognise the first letter of their name or even the whole thing.

Remember, all these activities should be fun - it's important not to pressure your child most find it quite daunting until they have been there awhile and then they often don't want to come home.

Drawing

As your toddler grows they will begin to show interested in making their mark, this may be on walls, carpets, floors themselves. This is completely normal and not a sign of bad behaviour you simply have to explain that it is wrong to draw on anything other than the things you wish them to draw on, it will take time but it will get through, often this can come to late for cream sofa’s or carpets, thank god for stain devils they remove stains from most surfaces but always check the label as you don’t want to make the problem worse.
Eventually their endless scribbling with a chunky pen or crayon will make that first picture, a true prize. By two to three you'll find circles and lines appearing in the drawings, and by the time they get to preschool you may see these shapes being put together to form stick figures. Children learn to draw the same way they learn to speak, and later write by copying.
Drawing with children helps them discover that shapes can carry meanings, and more importantly, that they can create shapes themselves. Drawing with babies and toddlers is great fun. Start with simple shapes, naming them and stating the colour that they have used. They will recognise many from their picture books. Draw simple faces. As you draw, explain what you are doing: “look, a happy smile, a sad face, curly hair, this one has ear-rings“. Draw trees, flowers, grass, a house, and animals. They will quickly develop their own style and that will adorn your fridge and walls for many years to come, try to encourage it is a great way of expressing themselves and you never know you may just be the parent of a buddy Picasso.